i really dun noe how to describe my feeling..

actually our meet up is on thursday, then wei jing bday celebration, so i move forward to wed...

in my mind, i dun really wan to meet him de. but i told myself, i have to face it. if not everytime i see him, i will lost my cool. so i carry a very heavy heart to go for the meet up. initally we meet up at 630, then due to my work and had to send my nieces home, end up we meet at 730...

abt 7pm, i took mrt train from yishun to cwp, 1st i tot i wanna go grab a gift for him, cos his bday coming. but when i brought the train at yishun, guess what i saw Dear on train... hahaha maybe god is really nice to me, cos i really need my friend around to give me a push. at first i call lao po and ri, cos they noe abt it. but they seem busy so i hang up and told myself i have to face it. but when i saw dear, i noe i m bluffing myself.. then when i saw her, she look so pale. i start to worry abt her more then the meet up. then we both alight at wdl. initally i wanna walk her home so i can prepare for the BIG THING.. but then dear say she wanna buy thing, which i noe she dun mean to buy stuff, just wanna acc me ba.. thanks dear. can feel your love haha (but must keep remind u to love me de la lol). then we went to buy sushi for her small ones. then HE called...

HE ask me wat i wanna eat, so i tot and tot, in the end i chose ajisan. i gt a bad throat and not really feeling well, so i order a non spicy ramen(seafood). which i regret alot alot hahaa. then for him, i noe he dun like soupy stuffs, so he order a dry ramen. when he order that, alot of flash back appear in my mind.. the way he talk, the way he eat, the thing he like, the thing he dun like...... what i wanna say can all be describe by elva's song hai... but howevery after some conversion, i realise he was not the person i noe b4.. HE CHANGES.... then i realise something, the man that i love the most === is gone... that man that i keep appear in my mind, the man that whenever i sing QIN AI DE, will tear de is gone... then we chat abt our love life, he gt new love and new target now.. when i heard of tat, my heart have a weird feeling.. i dun noe how to explain but it just seem uneasy for mi.. i m asking myself, come on everyone life go on.. moreover i had more boys in the period hahaha.. plus i all along de the feeling he gt new gal. but y, y when i heard from his mouth, i do still feeling hurt.. then his fren call, he meeting his friend to go pub, which make me stunned. when i was with him, he hate those place alot.. but now. that y ppl say, REN HUI BIAN DE.. guess that is wat is mean. the more we chat, the more i felt that he is a stranger to me. the thing that he do now, i totally so unfamiliar to me.. then it make me feel that, he had move on with his NEW LIFE... so the more i need to.. then my stomach start to pain again haha, been LS for days. so we call for bill then went to toilet.. then he offer to treat, as he say he owe me a bday present.. so i didnt reject..

then we walk around cwp, and i m feeling unwell so we call off a day.. he sent me to the bus interchange then i rush him to go meet his friend cos he is running late.

that is my day..... after this meet up, i noe in my heart, the man i love the most is kept in my heart forever.. nw he will be my good friend for life. next time when i see him on street or else where, i believe my tear will not drop anymore.... jia you jielin..

omg recently so many thing happen.... where shall i start to write lo..

1st start with my buddy, who told me a funniest thing that she did... FATE is the word i can say hahaa.. but what ever you decided, hope u will be happy k. after chatting with for sometime, found it so funny y i m so scare of u last time.. that y ppl say dun judge a person by its appearance(guess that wat its mean) hee. i really do agree with you that we think and handle our stuffs alike, but buddy our method only bring happiness to others, but not ourselve... so let work hard to love more for ourselves k. i will be your buddy for u to count on ya.. :)

2nd, hai is my dearest ri's problem. when i heard the news i was quite shocked.. worst i was in my insurance course and was unable to give a call.. hope she dun blame me. so today went out with her to cheer her up(hope it works)... sorri for not be able to be there at the moment. but ri i just wan to say, since all come so nicely in place, i believe it mean something rite.... so jia you jia you jia you....

3rd, just wanna say i actually still miss him alot........